When I first became a Christian, I saw a lot of picture perfect families. Moms coming to church with their six kids in perfectly pressed white shirts and tie, little girls in dresses with their hair perfect and mama with her hair & makeup done and juggling everyone in heels. I immediately felt inadequate. I was taking care of a teen with unique challenges at the time and frankly, we didn’t have it together. I looked nothing like them. I had all these ideas about what it meant to be the perfect Christian mom. So when I met Glenn and he had children, all those fears came rushing back but I’ve quickly learned that my fears weren’t rooted in anything real.
My fears were based on this perceived culture where we only share highlight reels. I wanted to make this week about the myths we tell ourselves as mamas. The myths society portrays designed to make us feel like we don’t measure up. As if we aren’t enough.
Christian Moms struggle to be visible
We’re supposed to be servant leaders. We lead by serving our husbands, our children, our community, our church, etc., and don’t expect any recognition. We don’t necessarily need recognition but sometimes it’s nice to have someone say thanks.
We also need to be able to say what we need also. There’s this idea that women should raise babies like they don’t work and work like they don’t have kids. The myth is we just do it all and don’t worry about getting help. We should be balancing it all seamlessly. The truth is we have to ask for help.
Christian Moms struggle with imperfect children
Only Jesus is perfect. When I saw all those LDS kids, I thought they must be angels at home and those mamas never struggle since they were so well-behaved in church. Just false. My kids are saints in public. I get compliments ALL THE TIME. At home though? They still punch each other, talk back, have meltdowns, forget their manners and so much more.
However, I’m not mad. I’m not even slightly upset. We too are children of our Heavenly Father & we fall short daily. We are by no means perfectly behaved. God had only one perfect son & that’s Jesus. Instead, God offers us Grace daily for our own disobedience so we must do the same for our littles. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9.
Christians Moms struggle to always have a thought-provoking biblical answer for things
LOL this one is hilarious when I think about it now. Should I be better? ABSOLUTELY. Like I mentioned before, I’m not perfect. None of us are. While it is important to raise our children the way God intended, we won’t be perfect. Even Jesus’ mother wasn’t perfect.
While I wish every single time I opened my mouth something came out that was full of biblical wisdom, it isn’t always. I wish the words I used poured God’s truth into my kids every single time and they heard me every single time. But I fall short. Sometimes the NJ in me comes out and my southern sunny disposition has left my body.
But we can try to be better. I’ve started to try to use scripture more to discipline the kids or help with their problems. I actually snagged this book called “Where to find it in the Bible” so I could be more intentional.
All we do is try. God will make up the difference. Psalm 25:5.
Christian Moms struggle to show weakness to their family
This goes back to being the invisible mom. We can act invisible or like nothing bothers us but in reality, we’re doing a disservice to our family.
Our children need to learn how to deal with stressful times. If we present this perfect image to our kids, they’ll struggle in the future with how to deal. Glenn and I make it a point to solve our conflicts in front of them. We try to show them how to have a healthy disagreement and resolve it. We tell them when we’re stressed out and need a pause.
We don’t want them thinking life is sunshine and rainbows. They need to know how to deal with real life. I’d much rather them learn how to cope with every day issues from me than create habits that are unhealthy. Galatians 6:2.
Christian Moms struggle with being around their family all the time
Listen, I love my kids I cherish every single moment with them. I love being a stay at home mom. It’s something Glenn and I work hard to maintain.
But sometimes my kids are buttheads. Sometimes they fights. Sometimes they say “mom” 400 times in under 10 minutes. I don’t remember the last time I got to pee alone.
I look forward to every single break they have but by the end I am ready for them to go back to school. Those six hours they’re gone I am thankful to get the laundry done, the house cleaned and work on my businesses but I also miss them entirely.
Listen, being a mother is hard and it’s okay to need a break. Jesus tells us to come to Him when we need rest and He will give it to us. He asks for us who are weary and burdened and just need rest. So give yourself grace and be okay with asking for a break. Matthew 11:28.
So where do we go?
Listen you’re not alone in any of your struggles. Know that it’s okay to not be perfect. Only Jesus can be so we can rely on Him to make up where we feel not good enough. Just start being a little kinder to yourself mama. I hope you find some encouragement in knowing you’re not alone.
What are some of the myths you believed about being a mama?