Marriage is the hardest ministry you will ever serve in

What if I said marriage is the hardest ministry you’ll serve in? All too commonly those with a religious elite complex, look down at those who are married. They sometimes feel like they have sacrificed more to serve God than the married couple and are closer to God than they are.

I beg to differ.

Marriage is the hardest ministry you can serve in because it asks for a 24/7 commitment from you for life.

When we get married, we show up as our best and most hopeful for the future. We have expectations of how life is going to go. We think we’ll be nothing like the couple that fights and we’ll just live in wedded bliss for eternity.

While that’s true, you can live in wedded bliss for eternity, it takes work.

Real work that is messy and complicated. Marriage forces us to come face to face with the ugly and sinful parts of ourselves so we may be better.

Marriage forces us to turn to God for help because we are no longer living this life alone. We are partnered with someone. We are probably raising children with that someone.

Due to the intense nature of raising a family and walking alongside someone for the next 50+ years, we are challenged to shift our reality. We are coupled with someone who is impacted by our decisions and desires. We cannot act in selfishness or the other person suffers.

While we are not responsible for ensuring our partner’s happiness, we can bring them joy. We can do things that make them happy for a moment but we cannot sustain their happiness. It’s up to them.

At the same token, we are capable of bringing sorrow. We are capable of acting in the sinful human condition and hurting the person we love.

Our words and actions are constantly shifting the tone of the home. What tone are you setting?

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The Bible says we will give an account of our lives. (Romans 14:12)  We will not be giving an account of our husband’s life or the lives of our children but rather our own life.

While remaining celibate and using your time on Earth to minister to others is beyond commendable it doesn’t force you to examine your life the way marriage does.

Marriage asks that you serve one another day in and day out without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9) Marriage asks that you examine how your actions impact others  a way nothing else can. No one else is around you that much and no one else has the skin in the game the way your spouse does.

I personally am thankful for the way my husband and I are. We have become incredibly comfortable with respectfully discussing how our own behaviors aren’t perfect. We can discuss when we’re acting in selfishness or when our words hurt.

In doing so, we grow closer to God. We ask God for help. We study the scriptures about that particular flaw. We continue to grow as a person so when we are held accountable for our lives we can say we tried to be more like the Savior.

I am thankful there’s someone around me day in and day out to hold me accountable.

I’m thankful we have children because they force you to be better and try harder.

The world is comfortable with selfishness. It preaches self-love and speaking your truth. God’s truth says show up and serve others. Love one another.

Marriage isn’t easy but it’s always worth it. This ministry you and I have been called to serve in will change you if you let it.

Will you be letting marriage draw you closer to God?

The world says you shouldn’t change your spouse but what if that’s the opposite of the truth? Your marriage will change you if you’re bold enough to accept and work on your flaws from a biblical perspective.

I challenge you to pick up your Bibles and change for the better.

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