No Competition in the Kingdom
Welcome back to another super exciting episode of the Milk and Honey podcast. I am really excited to record this episode because I feel like it is super timely for what is going on in my life and what I’m seeing in the lives of other people and just conversations at church that I’m having, like it and y’all.
I map out my podcast schedule like months in advance, like I wrote this. Back in December, and I’m recording it at the end of March, and so the Lord just knows, I’m just gonna say that. And so what I wanna focus on today is this concept of no competition in the kingdom because I. As women, I feel like there’s just so much competition naturally placed between us and I think that, I truly think it’s a design of the enemy.
I think the enemy works really hard to ensure that women are constantly competing because if we’re competing for, the next job, the talents rate. The guy, whatever it is. Then we are so focused on that competition that we’re unable to celebrate and lift the Kingdom as a unit. I think women are super powerful in that capacity
I’m excited to talk about what no competition kingdom really means, and I’m just, I’m really ex excited. And you know what? I honestly had never even heard this concept, like the way I see it everywhere now, and maybe it’s because I’m immersed in it, but girl power lines, that’s part of our motto is there’s no competition in the kingdom.
And it’s really interesting to see it play out in real time and to see people. Actively like checking their ego at the door so we can all lift and grow together. And so I’m really excited about it. . And so the very first thing I wanna talk about actually is what it means to be in competition with others and the toxicity behind that mindset for believers.
People in general, but especially for believers. . Being in competition can be just so detrimental to our mindsets. I feel like it’s fine when, I was an athlete, I would go to dance competitions or I would go to cheerleading, competi. Cheering at a football game.
We’re in competition. That is healthy competition. What I’m talking about here is the competition that focuses on comparing yourself to other people rather than focusing on your own personal growth, your own spiritual development, like that’s the competition I’m talking about. I’m talking about you scrolling your Instagram feed and saying, why not me?
Because that competi. Is rooted in, comparison is rooted in imposter syndrome. It’s rooted in self-worth, like it’s rooted in a lot of these really deep and personal things. And it leads to us feeling like we’re inadequate, right? It leads to doubting our abilities, our talents, the six, cuz we’re constantly looking at the success of others and asking God, like, why not?
right? Because that’s really the big thing is that when we get into this comparison space, when we get into competition with somebody, and oftentimes ask me the ask let me ask you this question. I want you to think about it. When you are in competition with somebody, does the other person know that you’re in competition with them?
Do they know that you’re competing with them? Probably not. I have had people tell me that they saw what I was doing and they immediately felt. inadequate. They immediately had self-esteem issues. They immediately had an ego problem, and so they had to, they were competing, right? I had no idea this was going on behind the scenes, right?
It created animosity and left our relationship really weird and uncomfortable, and that is not the purpose of being a believer, right? That is not aligned with Christ’s teaching that we’re supposed to. One another. As we’re supposed to love our neighbor, right? So we’re supposed to love everybody and have this respect for people regardless of their backgrounds or abilities.
And here’s the craziest thing is I think that like we do a really good job of supporting other people’s gifts and talents, but we do a really bad job of highlighting our own and thinking about our own. That was something I had to work through a lot like. There are so many times I’ve talked to people and I’ll like very casually mention a part of my background and they’re like, wait, what did you just say?
What do you mean you have international wars? What do you mean you’ve done X, Y, Z? And I’m like, oh yeah, but it’s not you know, it’s not, I’m not this person or haven’t achieved this thing and. . Yeah. But that’s still really incredible. Like you should celebrate that.
And so we, we downplay the success that God has given us too. And the other thing it can do when we’re in this like competition sort of spirit, right? Is it is like the opposite of what I just said, right? Where I’m like a downplay everything where it could create this excessive pride or. Envy in your personal achievements, right?
Like it can give you this very distorted view of success. As we shift our focus away from being thankful for what we have, and instead, we’re constantly striving for more. And here’s the thing, like I don’t think it is a problem to be content, right? Contentment is being okay with where you’re at.
Complacency is I’m cool with where I’m at and I have no desire to get anywhere else. God calls us to growth and he doesn’t expect you to stay here in this one spot. Peter talks about this spiritual milk and how like we have to constantly be growing and striving. We are not supposed to stay in just this.
Little place. And so that’s, I wanna I wanna be sure that what I’m saying, like it is okay to want more, but not at the expense of like your mental health, not at the, I need to compete with Susie from Instagram. , right? We should be grateful for what we have, be grateful for the journey that we’re on, right?
Cuz God’s got us exactly where it is that he wants us, but then also knowing that it’s okay to want more and to grow more, right? So I’m wanna wanna talk about how do we get rid of this comparisonitis, right? and move into our potential, right? The our God-given potential, so that way we can really maximize the kingdom impact that we have.
And so rather than being consumed with comparison and competition, because let’s be honest, when we get into this competitive space, the comparisons. Starts to consume us, right? So we need to focus on our gifts and talents to make a meaningful impact in the world. So we have to strive to be authentic and to share unique perspectives without worrying about whether or not someone else has achieved more or is quote unquote better than us, right?
We have to let go of this need to compete so that we can recognize our own strengths and use them to make a difference in the lives. One thing that I do, to be honest, is I have a newsfeed eradicate. I use Google Chrome and it’s a Chrome extension, and I can’t see my Facebook newsfeed at all. It’s the best thing ever, unless I’m on my phone, I cannot see my newsfeed, and And I actually use this platform called Social Tenacity.
My friend Brooke actually created it. It’s amazing. But I actually don’t even have to get on my social media to post my content or to engage my dms or my comments. I can check all my analytics from there and it helps me to not compare, it helps me to just put out whatever it is the Lord wants me to put out.
Content wise, whatever God’s pressing into me without having to get on social media and see what other people are doing. Like I get to exist solely in whatever space that God has me in and whatever level of growth that I’m at without stressing about other people. I’ll link to it in the show notes if you guys want it.
It’s really good and it’s really an expensive can’t save me a ton of time. But it’s really helped me. To get rid of this comparisonitis. And I can tell you it is, it’s not like always, I’m not gonna tell you that I’m perfect in any way, shape or form. There are some in, I’m in the field advisory board with girl Power lines.
And again, first of all, . I like, I have to check myself all the time because that is never a place that I thought I would find myself in. After being really anti network marketing, after feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. Here I am, I was part of the the core group when we started this thing, and I’m like, okay, like God put me here for a reason. Like I have value and things, but then I’ll see somebody who like had this amazing month and I’m like, dang. I’m like, why not me? And I’ve had to really refocus myself and say, you know what? If it’s possible for her, then it’s possible for me. And instead of feeling this need to compete, I want to celebrate her.
right? I wanna celebrate what it is that God’s done in and through her and for showing me what it is that I can also do with the Lord. And I think that’s really important to remember too, to get outta this comparison and competition, is that we are all uniquely made in God’s image and we have this incredible potential when we let go of any need to compare ourselves to.
God has given you unique gifts and talents for a purpose, and you have to use them to make the most kingdom impact that you can. And the only way you’re gonna do that is to break free from comparison and competition and focus on developing yourself spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, like whatever that is.
However you need to develop and focus and tune into. That’s what it is God wants you to do. He doesn’t want you sitting around scrolling your Instagram feeling like you’re not good enough, because that is a, when you do that, when you feel like you’re not good enough, when you feel like you need to compete with the, with another girl in your company, on Instagram, on TikTok, whatever it is, when you feel the need to compete and you are doubting the things that God has given you, you are in agreement with the enemy.
You’re in agreement with the enemy, and you are not. Accepting who it is that God has called you to be you’re disagreeing with who God created you to be. You’re disagreeing with the gifts and talents that God has given you. And I can tell you right now if you’re listening to this episode, that is not the kind of woman you are.
You are the kind of woman who understands who it is that God made her to be, and you love the Lord, and you trust that he designed you with a good purpose. And that means doing things on his timeline, not your timeline. That means developing the talent that he gave you, not the talent he gave Susie from Instagram, because we were all given something different.
And here’s the thing, is Susie from Instagram, she’s also looking at somebody else and saying, why didn’t God give me that? Why does it come easier for her? while you’re sitting here idolizing. What Suzy’s doing, Susie is idolizing somebody else when we should just be looking at the father and thanking him for what it is that we have and developing the skills and talents that he has given us.
Man, that was the Lord I told you. Another thing that I try to do when I’m, when I need to get outta this headspace, right? Competition and comparison, is practicing mindfulness and gratitude, right? I keep a journal next to my bed, and this was something we covered in Radiant Leadership Academy every single night, and I’ve been doing this now for months.
Every single night before I go to bed, I sit down and I write down five things. No more, no less that I’m grateful. In that day, some way that I’ve seen God show up and I have had some hard days, y’all hard days. When you step into sort of kingdom impact and kingdom leadership, the enemy’s gonna come at you cuz he doesn’t want you doing this.
He does not want me recording this episode. He does not want me doing anything that I’m doing. And and because of that we have had some, we’ve had some days. My friends, we’ve had some days, especially since I joined Chrome Alliance, I’ve probably had the hardest days of my entire life, but I’ve had so much peace and joy through them all because of this gratitude list and just seeing how.
The Lord is so present in my life and seeing how the Lord is continuing to use these things in my life that may seem really challenging and using them for the betterment of the kingdom. Okay? So I’m writing those things down that, that makes it so much easier for me to get outta this competition space cuz I can see like God is here, God’s present with me and he’s doing something for me.
Another thing that you can do is really just under. God’s grace and loving other people. That’s it. Like you just understand God’s grace and the love that he has for other people and that we are called to love those people too. And when we remove our egos from the equation and just see another sister in Christ doing something amazing, it is so wonderful to celebrate.
It is so wonderful to celebrate her because that’s the path that God has her on, and that’s okay. It might be the path you wanna be on, but God has a path for you. And so remove the ego, understand God’s love and his grace, and start seeing your sister the way that he sees her. Start thinking of her like a sister, not somebody to compete with, but an actual sister because she is your sister.
Okay, I’m gonna go off on a tangent and that’s what I’m telling you. So something I wanna encourage you to do too, when you’re trying to break out of this, is to evaluate your motives when making decisions or pursuing goals. So I want you to this is why I said so timely too, because just yesterday I got a call asking if I wanted to be a second counselor and our primary presidency for church and this morning at church, everybody voted on it, right? And of course, it passed. They thought I’d be a good counselor in the primary presidency. And something the bishop said before he set the new primary presidency apart is he said, I wanna encourage you all to lean into the promptings from the Lord.
I want you to lean into what it is that God wants you to do, and practice radical obedience. If it is drawing people closer to the Lord than just act on it. Just act on it. Do not delay acting on a prompting from the Lord that it’s gonna draw somebody closer. And so I was like, oh man. I was like, I’m about to go home and talk about this, and When I’m thinking about my own decisions or goals, is this drawing people closer to Christ?
Is this decision rooted in faith, or am I making this decision or do I have this goal because I feel I need to compete with Susie from Instagram? When we make decisions that are based on comparison and competition, we. Driven by self-centered motivations like pride and envy, desire for recognition. These motivations will go against the values of Christ and will lead to a very unhealthy behavior.
So when we focus our goals rooted in love, humility, and service to others. It’s really easy to break free from that comparison trap or that competition trap, and it enables us to focus on our own true potential in order to make a meaningful impact in whatever field we choose. Whatever that walk looks like from the Lord, like we get to go in full well knowing that this is of the Lord, and so we can become mindful of our actions and the effects they have on others.
because we know that we’re on a mission, right? We’re looking at it as our own little mission field here. And when you check your heart love that thing from John Christ. He’s check your heart. Focus on taking those gifts and talents and look at the eternal ROI of those gifts and talents.
And here’s the thing, we will never know what the eternal ROI is. We will never ever know. , how us leaning into our calling to our true calling. Not Susie’s calling, but our calling. What that is going to do eternally. What that’s gonna do generationally, like we just, we never know. We never know. We never know what the purpose, God’s full purpose is for us because we only get to see a little snippet of the.
we only get to see a little bit and so we might know, Hey, I pursued my calling and it helped change. I’m gonna I’m, I know that me pursuing my calling has changed one woman’s life drastically and she is now going out and changing other women’s lives drastically. And she has launched something for, this young adult demographic.
And I’m like, what is it going to do? for, and and I don’t know the people she’s impacting. She knows some of the people she’s impacting, right? And those people are impacting somebody else. And it was because I decided to say yes to my calling and not look at Susie’s from Instagram and not worry about the judgment and the opinion of others because I knew I was walking in my good purpose.
When? When you know what your purpose is from the Lord, when you know what your mission is from the Lord, the opinions of other people don’t matter. The what Susie from Instagram is doing doesn’t matter anymore because you know that you’re on an assignment from the Lord and you are leaning fully into that.
That’s when no competition in the kingdom means. It means that we are all given something very unique and we all have a very unique path to walk. And when we walk that path, when we truly lean into what it is that God wants us to do, we don’t have to fear, that we’re not doing enough.
We don’t have to worry about what somebody else is doing. We don’t have to worry about insecurity and discontentment, right? We know that the Lord has something special designed for each and every one of. And I wanna encourage you to lean into what it is that God has for you. And I wanna encourage you to put a spotlight on collaboration instead of competition.
As you’re working to get rid of competition and comparison in your own life, put the spotlight on collaboration instead. Create this collaborative environment, celebrate each other’s successes, support somebody else’s, purpose, right? Whatever that is, create an atmosphere of mutual respect and appreciation and encouragement rather than competition and comparison.
And the only way that we are going to do this is to by being the change. Like we have to be different if we want it to be different. That’s the only way this works. We have to be the ones willing to do the hard. To change the culture because the enemy has already done the work to make sure that women are frenemies, to make sure that women feel a natural competition amongst each other.
We have to put in the work to make sure that doesn’t happen. We have to be willing to do the hard work. We have to be the ones to put our ego aside and we have to be the ones leaning fully into what the father’s purpose is for each and every one of us. And almost put like horse blinders on so that we cannot see what everybody’s doing around us.
And we are just so focused on what it is that the Lord has called you to do. Whatever he is for, ordained you to do whatever it is that your assignment is, put your horse blinders on. and move forward. It’s the only way that this is gonna work. Support. Support your friends who are running their own race, but you keep your blinders on and keep running the race that was meant for you because there is a race that is meant for you and only you and the Lord know what, it knows what it is, and only the Lord knows how it’s gonna turn out.
And only the Lord knows the impact it’s gonna make. Your only job is to be radically obedient to what it is the Lord has called you to. . So I say all that to say, if you’re looking for a place where there’s no competition in the kingdom, if you’re looking for a place that is going to support you and nurture you, and encourage you to grow in your walk with the Lord, then you need to come hang out with me, come hang out with me at Girl Power Alliance.
It’s the most incredible membership I think I’ve ever been a part of. I’ve canceled 99.9% of other subscriptions that I have. Because I don’t need them anymore. I’m learning so much. Here I am. By the time this episode drops, I will be on a plane to San Diego with 24 other women all becoming certified radiant leadership and life coaches.
And guess what? I’m really excited to be sharing a room with 24 other people. So excited to go share this experience with 24 other women. And guess what? We are all gonna be teaching Radiant Leadership Academy, which is 16 week Biblical leadership program. And I do not feel one ounce of jealousy comparison competition with any of them because we all have something unique that we are bringing to the table.
We all have people that God has already for ordained for us and for this class, for us, right? Whenever time we’re ushering our class in. And so I am just excited to see 25 of us stepping up to a new level of leadership to see 25 of us leaning into a calling from the Lord. For Kingdom Impact, like I am so excited for that, and I want you to be excited for that too.
I want you to be excited about a place where you can be nurtured and supported as a leader and actually nurtured and supported as a leader. Where people are going to be excited to celebrate every single win that you have, where you’re going to get leadership calls, because we want you to be a true disciple for Christ, and the only way to do that is to be poured into spiritually, professionally, personally, physically, emotionally.
And we do that here for less than the price of your grocery bill this week. So if this sounds like something you wanna be a part of, then check out the show notes or just go visit girl power alliance.com/lemon, L e m o n and go. Go check it out. Go see what it is that we’re about, because I promise you’re gonna love it here.
I promise you’re gonna love it. because we truly believe in no competition in the kingdom, and we embody that every single day. And it really comes from a top-down leadership. Like culturally, we are all checking our egos at the door to celebrate one another. So I would love to have you come and join us.
Go. Like I said, go check out the show notes and I cannot wait to see you in there. Just remember that the Lord has something unique for you and it is only meant for you. And so do not stress about what anybody else has because the Lord has something just for you. And I just wanna leave that with you this week and I will see you guys next week.
Bye.
